“You’re a machine.”  

A statement that I have been told my entire life.  Whether it’s referring to the processes in which I execute certain activities or just my everyday mannerisms, I hear this comparison from both people close to me and complete strangers. Growing up with obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) has dramatically influenced the way I think, act, and feel.  My lifelong obsession with detail in its most intricate form has caused me to become a perfectionist and is responsible for my interest in realism artwork to begin with.  

This original series of drawings is a study of both hyperrealism and surrealism that takes this “machine” comparison in a literal sense.  It consists of six drawings total: three repairs.  The first pair of drawings showcases how OCD affects the way I “think” with a repair of the mechanical mind.  The second set is a repair of the fingertips, illustrating “act” through my bitten fingernails.  The final pair of drawings is a repair of the engine, or the heart, critiquing how it affects the way I “feel.” These six drawings are accompanied by research that examines the connections between art and mental health. 

Fixing myself when I feel broken isn’t as easy as depicted.  Accepting my OCD has shown that I never needed repairing at all.  These mechanical moments I have remind me of who I am and what I’ve done to get to where I’m at.  Perfection is never obtainable, but that’s just part of being human.