“You’re a machine.”
A statement that I have been told my entire life. Whether it’s referring to the processes in which I execute certain activities or just my everyday mannerisms, I hear this comparison from both people close to me and complete strangers. Growing up with obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) has dramatically influenced the way I think, act, and feel. My lifelong obsession with detail in its most intricate form has caused me to become a perfectionist and is responsible for my interest in realism artwork to begin with.
This original series of drawings is a study of both hyperrealism and surrealism that takes this “machine” comparison in a literal sense. It consists of six drawings total: three repairs. The first pair of drawings showcases how OCD affects the way I “think” with a repair of the mechanical mind. The second set is a repair of the fingertips, illustrating “act” through my bitten fingernails. The final pair of drawings is a repair of the engine, or the heart, critiquing how it affects the way I “feel.” These six drawings are accompanied by research that examines the connections between art and mental health.
Fixing myself when I feel broken isn’t as easy as depicted. Accepting my OCD has shown that I never needed repairing at all. These mechanical moments I have remind me of who I am and what I’ve done to get to where I’m at. Perfection is never obtainable, but that’s just part of being human.